We own a four bedroom house; we just bought it a little over a year ago. It's almost perfect for our current living arrangement because of the distribution of bedrooms. You see, it's a two story house, but instead of walking into the main lower level, the main part of the house with the entrance, kitchen, and most other rooms is the upper level. Then you walk downstairs into a semi-basement where there's a family room and a large bedroom & bathroom. (I saw semi basement because we're situated on a bit of a hill, so it's underground at the front but not at the back.)
The way this works nicely for us is that we have the main part of the house and Chachoo is downstairs most of the time. He comes upstairs for meals, kitchen needs, and some socializing, but most of the time it's like he has his own wing of the house and we have ours. This spatial separation, combined with his busy schedule of classes and work, mean that we don't see a whole heck of a lot of him and so far, we haven't felt any burden by his presence. This may change when his wife moves in because, first of all, at least in the beginning she won't have the same busy schedule. She also may be more social than he is, or perhaps will spend more time in the common areas of the house out of sheer boredom of being stuck at home all day. But before Chachoo came, I had two areas of concern about the house; the family room downstairs and his room.
First, I was concerned that because we do most of our daily living on the main upper level, Chachoo and his wife might conclude that since we don't use the family room much, it would become their personal living room. It is a logical conclusion, since it's connected to their bedroom and was largely unused before. But I didn't want that to happen because it would make "our" part of the house much smaller. I was worried that I wouldn't feel comfortable walking downstairs unless I asked them permission. And our laundry room is down there too, so if it were "their" living room, I'd be walking through it to get to the laundry almost every day.
The only solution I could think of was to try and move all our family social things down there. It's bigger and more comfortable for us to be there anyway, and since Chachoo has been here we've been watching a lot of movies (our only TV is down there.) That makes the space neutral, and we all still have our own spaces and can all still come and go as we please into all areas of the house. It does, however, make only one room "theirs", but I am trying to find some upholstered chairs for inside Chachoo's room so that they can have their own "lounge" kind of space without sacrificing the neutrality of the family room. That way their room could function not only as bedroom but also office or lounge space - because sometimes you want to lounge with your spouse alone, I think. But of course, this might be just a reflection of the way I was raised, and several of the Pakistanis I've talked to about this have told me I'm just overthinking everything.
The second concern I had was about Chachoo's bedroom. Before he came, that was our main guest bedroom. It was great for all the same reasons it's great for Chachoo - it gave guests enough separateness and privacy to feel comfortable while here. Especially for my parents and grandparents, who visit often and sometimes for extended periods. But since learning our plan of Chachoo living here, they've expressed a reluctance to throw Chachoo out of his room for a week to use his room as their personal guest room. I've assured them it's okay - even Chachoo has said there is no problem with this. He's never had his own room before, and in Pakistan before his brothers left, he slept in the living room at night and packed up all his bedding every morning. Also, their family is always rearranging sleeping arrangements based on who's in the house at the time. Guests are often given the best rooms, to Chachoo it's no big deal. He even did it last week when one of M's old college buddies was in town, and that guy is Pakistani! It just seemed more comfortable for everyone that Chachoo sleep upstairs next door to us while our guest gets the larger, nicer, and more private guest room.
So far it's been fine, although my family is still concerned about throwing Chachoo out if they visit. Especially because soon it won't just be throwing Chachoo out - it will be throwing him and his wife out of their marital bedroom. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess, but in the meantime, I want to make sure the room can function as both Chachoo and his wife's private enclave as well as a guest bedroom should we need it. That means painting within the next 2 weeks, and also adding furniture to the room so that it can serve as many things - adding chairs and a TV for a more private lounge space for them, as well as desk and clothes storage areas. Then I need to arrange the furniture and decorate in the way I would want it if the room were a guest room. (Hopefully my SIL will like the decor and not want to change it!) I figure that I only have a few weeks to work - after Chachoo's wife comes, it becomes their room and I can't very well go in there to rearrange the furniture on my whim. If I get it set the way I want it, they can live there and whenever we have guests, I'll just need a few minutes before they arrive to change sheets and stock up the room with guest essentials like towels or bottles of water.
Now, though, starts the redecoration odyssey. First up, paint colors and searching for some chairs. I think I'll take some pictures of the room so you all can see what we're dealing with!
