We shopped for more wedding stuff too today, and I took pictures there for you guys. There are all these stores that sell decorations for various parts of the Mehendi parties. (The internet is really slow right now, but I'll put those pictures up soon.)
The Mehendi party is the pre-wedding party. I've seen videos from family weddings from 15 years ago where the Mehendi party was when the bride's family all came to her house and her sisters and other female relatives all sat around her and rubbed haldi - tumeric paste - into her skin to make it glow. They also painted intricate mehendi designs with henna paste on her hands, arms, and feet and participated in various traditions like feeding the brides sweets, waving money around her head that would then be donated to the poor in an effort to combat nazar, and covering her in bracelets and necklaces made of flowers.
Nowadays, the Mehendi party looks very similar in that all the same traditions are going on, but the purpose is really just to party down. All the Pakistani brides I've ever known go to a beauty parlor to have professionals apply thier bridal henna, and no one wants orange-glowy skiny from all that tumeric, so people generally wipe off the paste right away so that it doesn't leave a mark (which it does very quickly - just ask my kitchen countertops.)
I'm not sure if groom's families used to have Mehendi parties before, since the whole purpose was beautify-ing the bride and grooms don't go for henna designs and whatnot, but now since it's just a party and all about the singing and having dinner together, M's family always has a groom's Mehndi party or one combined with the bride's family in a rented wedding hall. When we came in 2007 for M's other brother's wedding, they had a combined Mehendi party. This time the familes are doing separate parties and rather than renting halls, each family is erecting a tent at their respective homes.
An elder sister-in-law has a big role in these wedding functions, and after my mother-in-law, I'm almost supposed to be directing the show. I'm thankful that I already did some of this stuff at my other brother in law's wedding - a kind of test run if you will. This time I hope to screw up less, but we'll see. Of course, I'll report back to you all the ways I messed up! Stay tuned for my foibles.
7 comments:
I think it is interesting to see how weddings have changed in the past few decades, too. My husband's family keeps up the traditions, though. The grooms family has a separate haldi that involves painting him and other guests with a smudge of haldi paste, and then they do the more modern bride and groom's family combined mehndi party the next day if the bride wants, and this is in a fancy place. In his family the bride still wears a rough cotton yellow suit for the mehndi so that she will look extra great for her rukhsati, but I think a lot of brides nowadays opt for a fancy gown for their mehndi day, too, so they have a fancy mehndi, rukhsati, and walimah gown. It is just too much fun, however they do it.
hey! i love your blog, it's really interesting... but i just wanted to say, mehndi ceremonies (in my family anyway, we're Mohajirs from U.P) do involve the groom because he has to eat the mithai and have his happily married female relatives circle money round his head... but the haldi party you're describing is more the stuff that happens at the mayoun, not mehndi!! that's bride stuff only.. :)
@Anonymous: Mayoun and Mehendi have more or less merged here I guess...
@TGW: Best of luck in your directions for the show! :-)
@Anonymous: Mayoun and Mehendi have more or less merged here I guess...
@TGW: Best of luck in your directions for the show! :-)
Great explanation. I personally am dying for my younger sister-in-laws and sisters to get hitched - I want to be the director of their mehndis!
I beleive you didn't mention 'Ubtan' which is a mixture of several things besides tumeric. I'm attaching a link for more info:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Ubtan---Worlds-First-Known-Cosmetic&id=525565
Also, you should also mention how Pakistani and Indian mehndis aspire to be mini productions of Bollywood inspired wedding revelries. Its true!
Sounds like you are having a great time! I am super jealous. How are you guys handling the situation over there with the stuff thats been going on in Pindi, Lahore, etc. Do you cover when you go out, like for the flower shopping, etc.? M is saying that he doesn't think I can go to Karachi in Feb. for sil's wedding because he thinks it is too dangerous. I told him you are going around everywhere and doing everything. He asked if you are wearing burqa? Sorry if I am being too nosy, but I am trying to convince him that I can go!!!!!
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