One of the things she told me about was how her daughter had difficulty using the squat toilet.
Having been potty trained for some time now, and having only used American-style toilets in America, a squat toilet was a new thing for the daughter. My friend said her daughter refused to try it for a long time, then complained of her knees hurting and it being difficult to keep her legs so far apart. It wasn't a big problem, though, since they had a "commode" or western-style toilet at their house. This only became a problem when they were out and about in Karachi at places where there was no choice besides the squat toilet. It became such a problem at one of the wedding functions that the daughter actually made herself sick from refusing to use the bathroom.
Having that talk with my friend got me thinking about what we would do with our son. He's newly potty trained and we'd never talked with him about or attempted the squat toilet kind of maneuver. M definitely wants to teach him how to use it eventually, at the very least for his own ease of travel throughout the rest of the world that might not have western-style toilets. Because of course, plenty of children live perfectly fine lives with squat toilets. But right now when our son's potty training is so fresh and new, why throw a wrench into the works?
That got me thinking about alternatives for baby potty-ing. We, too, will be out and about a lot. We, too, will have a lot of various wedding functions to attend and many of them will last way into the wee hours of the night. M has family members whose homes we will visit that only have squat toilets. I was concerned that there will be many times when there will be no option available, and what if my kid has the same difficulty?
Luckily, an American mommy friend of mine had told me some time ago about something she'd bought to help her daughter with on-the-go potty training. It was a portable potty that could be folded down flat for travel. They keep it in the back of the car should they ever be caught off guard by an urgent potty need.
I bought one recently and plan to take it with me to Pakistan. I can fold it up and keep it in my diaper bag, or in the back of the car along with us to our wedding functions. Should a squat toilet be available, it can be placed on top of it. Otherwise, it comes with plastic bags that hook underneath it. Maybe my kid won't have any trouble at all, but I was grateful to talk to another parent who had gone through the same thing, and I thought that $15 was a small price to pay for our potty training to stay on track while we're traveling in Pakistan. Just in case.
It's so strange because before our first trip there, I was so concerned about what clothes I would take, making sure my eyebrows were nicely waxed and that my shoes were fashionable so that I made a nice impression. Now my biggest concern is whether my kid will have a comfortable potty to use at all times. Time changes all things I suppose, and these are the things I think about now.
22 comments:
That is great thing your friend showed you. That is really neat great idea if you are out and about or at someones house too. I'm sure your son will do fine
its indeed and very useful tool that you have purchased.... your going to have one great trip !!
I am the anonymous who comment on your usage of the "third world" countries. And having just read Gori Girl's bootleg intellectual response, I am spluttering in outrage. Just because there was or is truth to some of the allegations made against blacks in America or Jews in Isreal, does not justify rasict or anti-semitic terms. And yet it is amazing that people married to Indians/Pakistanis dont seem to see the analogy. And thats when I realised that all your blogs about the various trials and tribulations faced by the "open minded" American when married to the backward and underdeveloped Asian. None of them talk about the trials faced by your poor husbands in rascist, segregated America. Makes me glad I live in Europe.
Sorry Gori Wife, I actually do love your blog and am raging against Gori Girl's demand that we Indians should get "outraged about something that really matters". So by her logic until my country no longer has anyone under the poverty line, I cannot afford to complain against anyone using what I consider a derogatory term. How white first world is that!
Being able to use a squat toilet is def a good thing for worldwide travels!
This post reminds me to publish my post about a recent toilet experience of mine. The other extreme of a squat toilet, in a country where they're still very common!
I don't mean to spam your comments section, but I think you may find it interesting!
http://timepasseress.blogspot.com/2009/12/remote-controlled-toilet.html
Anonymous, you crack me up. First off, the term "third world" is simply a reference from the Cold War era referring to all of the countries that did not align with the US (First World) and did not align with the USSR (Second World). Historically the political leaders of the so-called Third World nations, such as Nehru, the first prime minister of India, have embraced the term since they saw themselves (and the majority of the world) as having nothing to do with the power struggle that was occurring at the time between the US & the USSR.
The term has become outdated (like the many other terms I listed in my original comment) because the struggle between the USSR and US has ended, and thus that division of countries no longer makes sense.
The fact that people like you ex post facto claim that the term is derogatory is pretty hilarious. Comparing it to actual racist or anti-semitic is an insult to people who actually have to deal with prejudiced attitudes and words being used against them.
And the "logic" you speak of in my original comment is not what you think it is. All I was saying was that there are more important things to worry about under the sun then whether a blogger is using a slightly outdated (non-derogatory) political term in a post. Especially as the terminology changes often, and the current "most up-to-date" terminology is nuanced & the particular word you use can depend on what facet of a country's economy/politics/customs you're discussing. I wouldn't expect anyone who doesn't keep up with the relevant journals (which I do, being an economist interested in developing countries & emerging markets)to be able to always use the "correct" (as decided by the current fashion of the time) language.
And back to the actual post... ;-)
At first I thought it was a commentary on interculturalness, but now I realize that it's just on the fun of being a parent. ;-D
this is something i dread if i ever have to go to pakistan.
the folding potty training seat is a clever idea for your son.
I have a friend who is a flight attendant for an international airline. She's said that a number of times people will use the toilet with the lid DOWN! They've never seen an actual toilet, and don't know how to use it so they just GO! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!
That squat toilet is a mesmerizing sight.
lol ok here goes..
Contrary to your belief..Squat toilets aren't the norm here, in fact most wedding halls and restaurants have regular commodes or wc's whichever u familiarize with. One of the hurdles i fear ppl who marry Pakistanis face is that they get stuck in their husbands time warp, as in the time they remember this country from...ergo the time they left it which was a bit in the past.
In fact if you show a squat toilet to my daughter she wouldn't know how to use it either..and she does just fine, so will your kids.
Did not mean to sound patronizing there, just showing you that your vision is a bit warped in time
Faisal - There's also a class component here too, in that my husband and his family are still very middle class, or even lower middle class. He may be bringing dollars, but not a whole lot of them for now, we are still recent graduates just starting our lives, y'know. I've never been to Clifton or Defense or Zamzama or the Millenium mall or any of those places. I've been to Lalukhait dozens of times. I once had to use a bathroom in Meena Bazaar and there was only a squat toilet. Same thing at my older BIL's mehndi reception hall, which we'll also be using for this BIL's valima. The wedding halls we'll be in are perhaps not the same ones you're talking about. In fact, my in-law's house had only a squat toilet until a few years ago when my MIL's hip replacement surgery made installing a WC a necessity. That's not to say I think your comment was patronizing - I appreciate it and I hope to visit some of the nicer side of Karachi this time and be pleasantly surprised by the bathrooms there. :)
I think that's an important reminder about the husband time warp thing, though. It truly is a common trap, and my husband (and thereby my) impression of Karachi is more than 10 years old with only two month long visits thrown in. It's good to hear these things, for other pardesi wives and also because I do it myself too.
Oops Gori Girl, with your degree in economics - did you actually miss the sentence in wiki that says "this usage is widely disparaged since the term no longer holds any verifiable meaning". As someone who actually publishes in journals like AER, QJE and JPE I am just wondering which journals you read...you know since you are an economist interested in emerging markets and all.....
Not to silence anyone, feel free to comment if you feel the need to, but just a suggestion: perhaps we can wait for the comments about the term "third world" until I write about it - I promise a post is coming on that soon. I'm not sure this is the best arena for that discussion, which I think is interesting and I'd love to explore it more later this week.
Anonymous, frankly, I think you're lying about publishing in those journals. *shrug* Regarding journals, I closely follow the energy journals (Energy Economics, Energy Journal, Journal of Energy & Development, etc) because that's the industry I work in. When I have the time, I read NBER, the "main" econ journals (AER, JPE, etc), whatever dev/int'l articles I have on my RSS, World Bank & IMF stuff, and whatever articles are recommended on the blogs I read, like MR or Chris Blattman. *shrug the second* I'm not interested in a pissing contest, though.
Regarding "this usage is widely disparaged since the term no longer holds any verifiable meaning", I'll just repost from my comment up there yonder:
"The term has become outdated (like the many other terms I listed in my original comment) because the struggle between the USSR and US has ended, and thus that division of countries no longer makes sense."
By the way, in academia if you quote part of sentence, but not an entire sentence, you are required to use ellipsis to signify that you are cutting a sentence off. The entire quote, for other readers following along, is "Although the term continues to be used colloquially to describe the poorest countries in the world, this usage is widely disparaged since the term no longer holds any verifiable meaning after the fall of the Soviet Union deprecated the terms First World and Second World."
Which is pretty much what I said.
I sure hope, if you do publish in said journals, that you employ better standards of reading comprehension and academic integrity. ;-) At both my undergraduate and graduate universities the professors would keel haul for the first and the university itself would deal very harshly with the second.
Anyways, that's all I'll say on the matter at the moment, in deference to our gracious host.
Anonymous: I happen to agree with you about the 3rd world label. I said long ago in a post about travelling to Pakistan with small children or babies long ago that people shouldn't use the term 'Third World' because it isn't a matter of "whatever 'they' are calling it these days," at all. It is a matter of not using language that reinforces the framing of certain places as superior, Number 1, juxtaposed to others... it is because labels do have power and meaning behind them. So it is like Negro to Colored to Black to African-American and Black American, or Oriental to Asian, lady vs. woman, etc...we should call people what they want to be called, and if the times and people insist on a change, we should listen and change our words, too. Third World is outdated and whatever its origins, it now carries negative baggage with it. So we shouldn't use it to describe a place.
I also agree that we white wives can sometimes bring in our perhaps subconscious attitudes of cultural superiority when dealing with our husbands and their countries...I definately find myself checking my intentions on that all of the time, cringing at things I blogged long ago, or re-hashing incidents that have happened ...I don't think that's what anyone intends to do, but it may inadvertantly happen because we sometimes don't even see it(we are pretty much culturally brainwashed to think we are superior since childhood, really). So I think it is good that you are just calling it as you see it.
One thing though, I would just say that I doubt it is easier to be a brown Muslim man in Europe than it is in the US these days...it seems to suck there for Muslims, too, so I am not sure why you took a cheap shot at the USA there as your closing argument...but anywayz...
About the potty thing, yep my daughter has resisted potty training and she'll be three soon. We were recently at an outdoor fair and she had a big poo and I was so glad she was in diapers because I changed her discreetly in the back of the car rather than having to take her to the portapotties...that fun is yet to come for me.
Gori Girl: I bow to your ability to do perform a non-academic job and yet read so many journals. With my teaching and research I am lucky if I can read the top five (being a wanna be academic, I am sure you know them ;-)) Frankly I dont think me being a labour economist and you having something to do with energy, makes either of us an expert on the socio-political nuances of the term "third world" - your qoute was after all from wikipedia! I am not a native English speaker but to me saying that "a term is outdated" is very different from saying that a term though used colloquially (by people like you) its "usage is widely disparaged". What I do know is that I am a brown woman telling a white woman that a term used to refer to my country is rascist and inappropriate and I am being told back that comparing it to an anti-semitic term is "an insult to people who actually have to deal with prejudiced attitudes and words being used against them." Because presumably no one is rascist to Indians/Pakistanis?
(Thank you for very useful comments on academic writing. I actually have a revised and resubmit to do from QJE, and I will take them into account!!)
Lucky Fatima: I am a woman and I small tohave to admit that the experience of a brown woman may be very different from a brown man. I only know three things: (i) When I came to a seminar at a very good US university (but in a relatively small city), a white american man screamed at me across the road "to go back to my own country". This would never have happened to me in London. (ii) That rascism does not have to be so blatant as the above experience, and it can be especially painful (to me) if it is from educated people who on the outside seem just like you but say things that are coated with a film of culture and knowledge. I am treated differently when I am with my husband and when I am alone and I am also treated differently after people know that I am a brown woman married to a white man - almost as if that makes me half white. I have found that in America, educated people are extremely sensitive to rascism against african americans and jews since they have been there for longer. They are less so or almost oblivious to sensitivities of Asians. This is not so in the Europe, which has a much bigger and older Asian community.(iii) I am married to a European, but this does not make me an expert on the feelings or sensitivities of Europeans or his country. It also does not make up for the 22 years of unconscious prejudice or plain ol' ignorance about Europe that preceeded my relationship with him.
Gori Wife: Sorry, could not resist one last (very long) comment. I shall now go back to my lurking and enjoying your blog.
Hi!
Regarding squat toiletts and the Western World.... you can find them in Italy too... ;-))))
Yeah, I remember being freaked out too during a road trip through Europe where squat toilets where the only thing available in an Austrian rest stop. I resolved to just hold it until I got to the next McDonalds, ha ha. I never had to use a squat toilet in India or Pakistan though, all the places I stayed in always had commodes. I never used the restroom outside the house in either place either, except for in the airports, which also have commodes. When we go this time, Little D will still be in diapers, so I won't have to worry about it yet :) (because we will be in a lot of wedding halls etc, don't know what the bathrooms will be like).
In Dubai you will find that many public restrooms have both squat and sit commodes, both there for your pleasure of choice in the same restroom.
Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! :)
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