My Brothers-In-Law

I have two BILs and they're both really great. They're both younger than M (b/c he's the eldest kid) so they're considered younger than ME, too, even though one isn't. It's like the wife gets elevated to the age of the brother and deserves the same respect they show the elder brother. Like, they don't call M by his first name only, they have to add "Bhai" (which means brother) to the end of his name as a sign of respect. And therefore they don't call me by my first name either, they add "Bhabhi" to the end of the name as a sign of respect. When M was the only brother that was married, I was called simply "Bhabhi" but now that another brother is married, they use our names + Bhabhi to distinguish us.

So my two BILs are great, we'll call them H and J. J is the 2nd oldest kid and H is the baby of the family. (H is the one who's coming to America for studies soon.) I met them for the first time when I traveled to Pakistan a year after our marriage. We had spoken on the phone only very briefly beforehand and they were both very shy around this new American girl. J was more friendly the first time, so we bonded a little more than H & I did. 

But both of them treated me like an absolute princess. If I swatted at a mosquito, they'd be up in a flash to run to the corner store for more mosquito repellant. Both times I've visited Pakistan they've done every little thing for me without even being asked, bringing my favorite soda or jalebis from the mithai shop down the street for me at 5 o'clock in the afternoon when they're hot & fresh. Once I complained that I thought I was getting a cold and J (who is a doctor) left the room quickly and returned 10 minutes later with some medicine he'd gotten at the pharmacy. They're both really sweet, great guys.

J got married in December 2007 and we planned out 2nd trip to Pakistan to coincide with the wedding. H had been in Saudi Arabia for a year or so working on his Master's degree. His English had improved a lot since he'd left and he was less shy. (I suspect his English had been one of the reasons he'd been so shy around me in the first place.) He and I spent a lot more time together and bonded a lot during that second trip. 

Now H is coming to America for his Ph.D., and his school is in the next city over. Of course he'll live with us. He'll be here at the very least for four years, and he'll live with us for as long as he needs or wants to. He'll surely stay with us the first year, but it's not out of the realm of possibilities that he'll live here the whole time. He's engaged and he'll bring his wife over with him as soon as they're married. If he can get his visa situation in order he'll be here at the end of August. If he can't get a visa that quickly he won't be here until January. Either way he'll probably have his wedding in December, and she'll probably come as soon as her own visa situation is worked out. 

I'm actually really excited about this. First, it's a great school for him to go to. It's one of the better schools he applied to, the area we live in has a really large Pakistani & Muslim population, and the school itself has Friday prayers on campus and zabiha food options in the cafeteria (which is kind of like kosher.) That's a lot of home comforts for him to have readily around him to ease his transition to America. How many US universities are like that!?!

It's also a really wonderful thing for my son. H is a FANTASTIC uncle. He is so kind, sweet and gentle with my son and his other nieces. I have never once seen him lose his temper or be anything less that thrilled to spend time with these kids, even when he was walking around holding a toddler and singing to her in a restaurant for HOURS when she was sick and wouldn't go to anyone else. He took care of her so her mother - his sister - could enjoy her dinner. He is so wonderful to my son that he asks for "H___ Chachu" (Uncle H) by NAME even though they only talk through the computer on Skype. So my son will be very lucky to have him around, and his Urdu will improve from having another language model in the house, too.

Also, it will be less of a transition that having Ammi here. H will stay in the downstairs guest suite, rather than staying in the guest room across the hallway from us like Ammi does, so there will be a little bit more family separation (downstairs is too far away and it's too cold down there.) He'll also live his own life, go to classes, make his own friends, etc. He'll take care of himself and all I'll have to do it cook an extra portion. Really, cooking is the only thing in the house that falls exclusively on my shoulders, anyway. H is probably a better housecleaner than I am. Heck, anybody is a better cleaner than me. 

M is also really excited that his brother is coming here. He thinks they're going to spend their days making electronics projects together and that H will run around and retrieve things for him like he did when he was a kid.

So you guys are in for many more in-law stories!