The things I write about do not hold true for all of Pakistan or all Pakistanis or all of Pakistani culture.
My experience with Pakistan and Pakistani culture is very limited. Really very, very limited. While I would have been able to pick Pakistan out on a map before I met my M, I couldn't have told you anything about it except that I think it has nuclear weapons and there might be some issues with India. I do not have a wealth of knowledge about anything related to Pakistan, even now after two trips there and close to six years of marriage.
The only things I do know are what I have experienced since being married to my husband. You might be surprised how limited that is. Pakistan is an overwhelmingly diverse place, a rainbow gradient of all kinds of cultures; each step north between India and Afghanistan or east between China and Iran brings about a huge differences in every part of Pakistan and in the lives of Pakistanis. Each of these current influences and some historic ones have shaped Pakistani into a widely diverse place. I know one teeny, tiny speck of that, and even then only through the eyes of an outsider.
My husband's family has roots from the province of Bihar in India, and my in-laws were born there and spent much of their childhood there. I've been told by someone knowledgeable that he and his family have Bihari faces. They left India after Partition and lived for many years in Bangladesh, only leaving for Pakistan around the time of the 1971 war. My husband was raised in a "middle-class" family in a largely Mohajir area of Karachi. They still live there today. He came to America when he was 25 and has lived here for soon to be 10 years.
That is the tiny slice of Pakistani culture I am most exposed to. It is from that very specific baseline that I write about my life and my experiences with Pakistani culture. Even one different link in that chain would make for big differences. There are places in Pakistan where I would probably not know the first bit about life their, language or cultural practices. And not just far north, NWFP places, but even in Karachi, even in Pakistani-American homes in my own area.
There is so much history and diversity in Pakistan, I cannot speak for anything but my teeny, tiny slice of life in this long chain of modifiers: American-wife-of-Pakistani-immigrant-from-Bihari-one-time-Bangladeshi-Muhajir-middle-class family.