And because what's a baby going to do with money - the parents get to keep the money for themselves! Woo Hoo!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Moo Dekai
There's something is Pakistan (and I assume in India as well) called Moo Dikai. It means "Face See" and it's when someone gives you money on the first occasion that they meet you - or see your face. Get it? Moo Dekhai is also a part of wedding celebrations. I found this explanation: The first time the groom sees the bride's face after the nikkah [ed: wedding ceremony] is during a ceremony called moo dikhai. This literally translates to "the showing of the face." The way it works is that the bride's face has been completely covered by a veil up to this point. A mirror is then brought to the couple and while they both look at the mirror the bride's veil is lifted. Another name for this custom is Aarsi Musshaf. (Found here) But I'm not talking about wedding moo dekhai (which may or may not be accompanied by a present or money.) I'm talking about HARD COLD CASH that *I* got, when I first traveled to Pakistan. Every single place I went, people gave me these white business-style envelopes. I had no idea why or what was in them. I think that M and I were separated at the time, so I actually accumulated a couple of these envelopes before I got back to M and could ask about it. He said they had money in them. A few moo dikhai pointers: It's almost always money, but sometimes it can be a present instead. Sometimes the money is in odd numbers. Usually it's like, a 1000 rupee bill and a 1 rupee bill. This is an older custom that's not always followed anymore. When someone hands you the money, you're supposed to say "Assalamu Alaikum" which means "Peace be upon you." I think it's because they're giving you such a nice gift, you wish them peace in return. (Remember that often, Pakistanis don't say thank you.) New brides get moo dikhai when they're debuted to the family. Sometimes that's not the actual FIRST time you meet someone. Some people gave it to me the first time I came to their house. Babies get moo dikhai too! Our son, who was 14 months old the first time he went to Pakistan, got a LOT of moo dikhai. I helps that his moo is so cute, I think :) New babies get moo dikhai when they're born. I've seen lots of pictures of new babies with money sticking out of the folds of their swaddling blankets.
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15 comments:
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Wow I didnt think this was an official thing. I thought it was something some people just give, I understood it to just be a wedding gift... but now that I think back to the times I've witnessed it theyve always cupped the woman's face before handing the envelope over or praised her fairness and beauty.. hmph..
My babies all received alot of "moo" too when they were born but only one Pakistani family here gave it to us in a white envelope- everybody else just handed the cash to either me or the hubby...
loved the post, and I am sure ur babys moo is too cute =)
Ruhguzar
nice writing - nice blog
muh = face
dikhaavo = show
so its showing of face :) - its urdu / hindi word
its a practice to give gift of money in closed envelope whenever people see a small child or at any function
will come again and again
I experienced this too when I was in Pakistan in 2006 for my nikah. I don't know what happened to that moo dekai, I think dh gave it to his parents for part of the nikah/valima expenses, which was fine with me. Insha'Allah we will be taking my son (9 months) to Pakistan soon for the first time, and see if he gets some too!
BTW, I think it is kind of cool that we seem to have a lot in common, been married about the same time, my dh is an "M" too, from Karachi, and we both have baby boys, not far apart in age.
All of our moo dekhai always got put back into the Shopping Fund :) We do like to shop we're were in KHI!!! I think I will write about some of our funnier shopping exploits...
I have met so many people through this blog, it's so nice to finally talk to people who understand what I go through!
And I also want to talk about taking babies to Pakistan. I got a lot of bad travel advice when we were going!
Love the post! It reminded me of my moo dekai when I got married. My husband gave me a gold set with earrings, necklace and a ring. I would have preferred money...For shopping...I can spend 10,000 rupees in 15 minutes! Forget the jewelry!
My MooNh Dikhai involved gold jewelery as well! A fun part of the gori wife life!
I've been to Pakistan twice since getting married and I still get money or suits from DH's family whne I go. This past time I had went because my mother-in-law had died, but even that didn't stop all of the aunt-in-laws from giving my daughter money. They were so happy to see her for the first time despite the circumstances. And I think you should do a post about your flying expereinces with your son. I'll do one too and we can compare! What do you think?
Perhaps this is a Pakistani/Muslim tradition? We received gifts of cash at our wedding from some guests, but that was in lieu of other wedding presents.
I'm not sure if it's only Pakistani. Moo Dekhai is only the first time someone meets a new bride or baby, or the first time the bride & groom meet on their wedding day. It's common to give gifts of money at other times, but then they're called "Salaamee."
This habit is there in India too, atleast in South. Until recently the only kind of gift desis knew is CASH. Even now, this is a very common practice. You get cash on Birthdays, Festivals and Marriage, especially if you're a kid. As a formality you're supposed to say no at first and they would insist and try to shove the cash in your pocket. Sometimes it will become a game - with me running around the house and the whole family chasing me. Finally, the cash will be shoved in my pocket with me held up against the wall by my cousins, my uncle holding my hands and aunt shoving the cash in pocket. You can't just take the cash and give it back; that would be an insult.
In a more formal occasions CASH is delivered in envelopes with yellow from the turmeric on the corners.
dbals, that is interesting - do you know why the turmeric is on the corners of the envelope? I noticed for our wedding invitations there was turmeric on the envelopes as well. It is frustrating sometimes because whenever I ask *why* these things are done, the standard answer I get is a shrug, and an "I don't know, it's just the way it's done" - I like to know the reasons behing things!
Hi Melissa, I am told that that the Turmeric and Sindoor is considered as Auspicious and hence they put turmeric and Sindoor on the cover. Here in India, before distributing the wedding invitations, the cards are first kept before the diety and after offering the prayers, the Turmeric, Sindoor and Rice are mixed in water to make a paste form and stuck to the Invitations. This was what the reason given to me, during my wedding.
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