Meeting the 'Rents

So after M's parents were told that while they were visiting American to attend his Ph.D. convocation, they'd also be attending his wedding to a foreigner, they quietly accepted their fate, boarded a plane, and got down to business. Jewelry was purchased, as well as wedding outfits for both of us. Phone calls were made. I first talked to Abbu on the phone via a three-way call since M and I lived in different states at the time. I think I needed an hour long pep talk beforehand. To my great relief, Abbu is a very jovial person on the phone, laughing and just generally making me feel at ease. Not that I understood much of what he was saying. It was all mostly general greetings, so happy to have you part of our family, etc., etc, except with a LOT of repeating of sentences. Then he asked me for my father's phone number so he could talk to him too. (I was like, Huh? Really? But luckily that went similarly well.)

You cannot believe how crazy my life was at that time. I was still in school, finishing up my bachelors, and now I was planning a wedding at the same time. Early-to-mid December is finals time, and that was also when M's graduation ceremony was. I was also studying for a graduate school test and I could not for the life of me find a wedding dress. (Simple, but with long sleeves and no plunging neckline!) The day we'd picked for our wedding meant that I had to go to all of my professors and ask to take my exams early. (Plus study for four early exams! Gah!) It ended up that I took the LSAT test on a Saturday, all four exams Monday and Tuesday, drive the four hours home & found a wedding dress on Wednesday, met my in-laws for the first time on Thursday, found a last minutes tailor for the wedding dress on Friday, and got married on Saturday. (Valima on Sunday, Graduation on Monday, fly to M's house on Tuesday, and then 52 days of all of us living in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. More stories from THAT time another day.)

With all that insanity, the thing I was most stressed out about was the dreaded meeting of the in-laws. They were to come to my house Thursday night for dinner with my family. The strategics alone were nerve-wracking enough. What would my mother cook? There was no place to get the special Kosher-like meat some Muslims eat, so it would have to be vegetarian, but I knew they'd be expecting something grander - and some meat! Was anyone going to slip up and mention too much about our 16 month long prior relationship? And what about the fact that they didn't speak English?!?! (Ammi doesn't speak any English and while Abbu is fluent, he's still not easy to communicate with.)

I was a nervous wreck. I tried on so many outfits, it's not even funny. I could NOT decide what to serve for dinner but landed on cheese lasagna.  I couldn't sit still. And then they were an hour late. And I died right there waiting.

Well, almost died. But then there was a knock at the door, and I had to open it. As with most situations like that, the night was a blur. Ammi said later than she could tell how nervous I was. Also, looking back, I don't think they liked the lasagna. (The don't really like Italian food much, they think the tomato sauce tastes "raw" because they're not cooked for hours into an indiscernible curry.) Abbu talked and talked and laughed and ended up stretching out on the floor towards the end of the night. (A sign that it was a big success.) Ammi brought all the jewelry, wedding clothes, and even presents for my family; a watch for my father, a wallet for my brother, gold earrings for my mother. We looked at pictures from my childhood.

The language barrier wasn't that bad because M is an excellent translator. He then - and still to this day - makes sure that I always know what's going on in a conversation. He also was my biggest cheerleader, so like, while we were going through the pictures, he would highlight all the wonderful things about me. "See, Ammi, this is when she won the award for best writing in her entire school, and this is when she got her black belt in karate, and this is when she caught a 45 pound fish." (<== All hypothetical examples, of course...)

Abbu is a really, really social person, so he was in his element and very happy to be there. He also is really pro-western, so he was really excited to be in our living room, talking to all these American people. Ammi was a little more reserved, but still nice and polite. In looking back at pictures, you can see her smiles are a little tightened, though. All we could do was try to make the best first impression we could, and luckily, I think we were able to do that.

The wedding dress, or Sharara, that Ammi brought for me.

The Shervani for M.

The wedding jewelry.