Forks For Another Wife

When M graduated and found a job and moved away, I thought that would be it. A few people had asked me if we would get married, and I had always said "Of course not!" I had done my reading, I had asked the right questions. I knew what kind of family he was from and they were the kind of family that arranged a marriage for their son. I knew that we could only have whatever semblance of a relationship we had until his parents pressured him into an arranged marriage - I never knew there was any other option. So I'd always say that No, we couldn't get married. Yes, he was eventually going to have an arranged marriage. No, I didn't think I should end our relationship now because I enjoy every minute I have with him, and no matter when we have to stop seeing each other, this month or next year, at least I will have had as much time with him as possible. And I'd always have the memories, at least.

So with a heavy heart, I saw him off at the airport, thinking this was probably it. I had no idea if I'd ever see him again. He was going halfway across the country, and I had no place in his future. 

But less than 36 hours later, I had a plane ticket. I had a hotel room. And M had even gone to my hotel to leave an envelope with money for a cab (What?! I was a poor student!) Only four and a half days after he flew out of my life - probably forever - there we were, having dinner in the Indian restaurant across the street from my hotel. (We actually ate at this restaurant every other weekend for years after we were married because of its significance!)

It was so nice to see M, but even nicer to know that he hadn't yet closed the door on us. Absolutely nothing had changed, there were still no answers, but I was happy that at least it wasn't over yet. 

This limbo - this relationship-yet-maybe-nothing-at-all - will always be symbolized by our dishes. Yes, dishes. You see, M needed help that first weekend I went to visit him. The life of an international grad student is sometimes one spent sleeping on the floor. M didn't own many of the things a young, newly employed professional needs to run a household. He hadn't bought a mattress until he'd been in the US for two years. He had only 1/2 of the necessities because he used to live with a roommate. He owned a blender but his roommate had owned the microwave. When he was moving, a moving truck came to pick up his things; his car, his motorcycle, and his seven tiny boxes of personal belongings. Now that he had a steady income stream that was 10 times his tiny grad student stipend, he needed to SHOP!

We went to his local IKEA and spent four hours there. You can really get lost in that place the first time. I knew the style he wanted because one of his friends (yes, one of them) had already been working for a while and had this gorgeous, sleek, modern bachelor pad. I knew how much M like his friend's place and that he probably wanted something similar. I helped him pick out SO MUCH STUFF. He kept asking, "Do you like this?" and I'd always respond "It doesn't matter if *I* like it, do YOU like it?"

But inside, I kept thinking the real question - will your future wife like it? I knew I was helping pick out the pots and pans his wife would cook with, the couch they would sit on together. No, it certainly didn't matter if I like them.

Of course, you all already know how this story ends. Not much suspense here at The Gori Wife Life. Let me just say that 'sleek, modern bachelor pad' is NOT my style. Luckily, IKEA isn't very durable, and most of that stuff has made it's way out of our lives (via craigslist or freecycle or the trash, if need be.) But still there are a few remnants of the things I picked out for M's future wife. One blue teacup, a couple of blue cereal bowls. And the silverware. These horrible, ugly, forks and knives. Heavy and modern with a dull gunmetal finish and elongated proportions. I hate them so so much. I would have NEVER encouraged M to buy them if I'd known they would somehow make their way into MY silverware drawer. I should have told him that his future wife wouldn't like those ugly spoons - and I knew that because his future wife was ME!