Lots of Pakistani homes do have dining rooms and/or tables. In the small bit of Pakistan I've seen, it seems that the more prosperous a family is, or the more "western" they are, the more likely to have a dining table. In more rural areas, or in very poor neighborhoods, it's more likely that people will eat on the floor. Here are the theories I thought of for the 'why' portion of the question:
1. In many Pakistani homes, especially in low and middle class families, space is a deciding factor. Many families might not have the space to dedicate to a dining room table. Rooms can serve as living room, bedroom, and dining room - all at once. It would be unfeasible to dedicate so much space for just one purpose. A dastur-khwan, or floor cloth, can be laid on the floor at any time, and removed after a meal.
2. Some people eat on the floor because it's the sunnah - or example - of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). He ate while sitting on the floor, and because Muslims believe he was the best example of how to live as a Muslim, they follow his example, sometimes even in these small ways.
3. Sometimes a family might like to have a dining table, but doesn't have the money for it.
4. Some families might just prefer eating on the floor. It's impromptu - anyone can just sit anywhere, no seating arrangements requires, and it requires very little set up or maintenance, and people can relax easily after a big meal.
In M's family it's a mix of the various situations described above. His family does not have a dining room, but they have converted the outdoor front veranda into a dining room of sorts. There are curtains against the gate to the outside to keep out dust and make it semi-private. There is a dining table and chairs, and many of the meals are eaten here as a family. Informal meals are eaten in an indoor sitting area (that also doubles as a bedroom at night), and everybody sits in a circle around the floorcloth with the food in the center. It's the equivalent of an American family ordering pizza and sitting on couches in the TV room to eat, rather than the usual dinner in the dining room.
There's also some amount of personal preference. Even in America, when attending desi dinner parties, many times they're served on the floor. This happened more often when M was a grad student and I was attending dinners at the homes of other grad students (less money, less space, often more recent immigrants) but it's happened since as well. I've also been to places in Pakistan that had gorgeous, ornate dining rooms with huge tables and dozens of chairs, and the host ate every single thing with a knife & fork, even a pizza, a doughnut and a banana. Seriously. Probably in an effort to distance himself from the floor-sitting, hand-eating customs. (I mean no disrespect, he was a wonderful host, and I think people can eat however they want!)
To sum: not every Pakistani does eat on the floor, and those that do so have a variety of reasons for the practice. I'll allow my commenters to fill the gaps in my explanation.
Well, I guess that doesn't help at all then, does it?
17 comments:
beware when u visit pakistan ..there is still hadud law prevailing.And i am worried abt the independence of your future female child...and never tell abt your past relationships(if any) to ur in laws. i am sure u discussed these with ur hubby. the culture gap is so vast!u can read www.faithfreedom.org
(sorry for double post)
Why is it every time someone meets a woman married to a Pakistani man she wants to remind us of this "law?"
It does actually get old.
As for the eating on the floor. . .I have always been more curious about something I think you mentioned in a different post. . .my husband's freinds never have drinks at the table. . .I find those a complete necessity!
Aslamu alakum gori wife
i was going to mention about it being sunnah but you have done that, perhaps cultural or even traditional. Also due to lack of space its often convient to eat on the floor to fit all in.
Eating on the floor is an Asian thing. It's done all over Asia, not just Pakistan or India.
I would imagine that the reason people bring up "hudud" or "hadud" is because they are concerned about the well being of women?
I don't even know what that law is, but heard of it before, therefore I am about to google it now and get the scoop.
But Gori Wife does not have to worry as long as her family is living in USA and they are, with no plan to relocate to Pakistan.
It's the women living in Pakistan who have to worry.
sunny: beware of the Patriot Act, I am worried about your independence. can't understand why people can't keep their stupid comments to themselves.
Typically when non-Muslims express their concern about Muslim women in such a way as done above, it is not sincere concern, but simply a veil masking imperialist paternalism. It is also a way of taking a stab at Islam and Muslims. I am all for making connections with those who truly have concern for the equal rights of all women. As for those who think they know what is best for Muslim women more than Muslim women themselves, you are not true allies to us.
If one is truly interested in how hudood laws function in Pakistan, I would suggest that one read the book "Zina, Transnational Feminism and the Moral Regulation of Pakistani Women" by Dr. Shahnaz Khan. It is an excellent dissection of how Hadd laws are used and abused in PK. Review here:
http://jang.com.pk/thenews/feb2007-weekly/books&people-01-02-2007/index.html
About the no drinking with meals, that is also a Sunnah. I have to drink water with my meals though, so hopefully I can earn my thowaab/ajr in other ways.
I would just co-sign with GW's post here on eating on a dastarkhwaan, nothing to add.
No drinking with meals is also a desi Hindu tradition based on ayurveda.
Water before a meal: medicine
Water during a meal: nectar
Water after a meal : poison
Much of what Pakistanis do are based on hundreds if not thousands of years Bharatiya Hindu traditions.
They would have been doing them even before the advent of Islam and the Prophet Muhammed. Of course that the Prophet Muhammed may have done them as well - such as no drinking during a meal, just shows the universiality of some customs but they did not begin with him and Pakistanis practicing these things are more based on their ancient Hindu connections than anything else.
Yes, I believe the no water with meals, as well as many hot and cold food associations, and the belied in the curative properties of certain foods (neem, mustard oil, turmeric, etc.) are from indigenous beliefs about the effects of food as well. The no-water thing just happens to overlap with Sunnah.
Although indigenous beliefs about food associations are strong, they are not as strong as with Hindus across the board with all Pakistanis. For example, Pakistanis do have the concept of jooTha/jhooTha (touched/used) food and objects, but I noticed that they are not all as strict about it as most Hindus. Also, Pakistanis will eat yoghurt at night, but Hindus from the same original regions in India will not, etc.
you can also read Lajja by Dr. Taslima Nasreen
Actually, Hindus are also eating yogurt at night, now with the onslaught of restaurtants in the metros and areas immediately surrounding the metros, which serve yogurt based dishes at night.
Also, I assume that people in Pakistan eat late night dinners?
Like dinner served anywhere between 8 and 11 pm?
That's something to get used to.
Eating a late dinner and then rising early before dawn the next day..... ouch!
I will go with option 4. Some families might just prefer eating on the floor. It's impromptu - anyone can just sit anywhere, no seating arrangements requires, and it requires very little set up or maintenance, and people can relax easily after a big meal.
I am a Hindu and Indian, but we also did the same in the past. Now we have dinning table but I feel uncomfortable. The reason is our ancestors used to take food in that way (on the floor) and we sit in a fashion (folding legs to each other) which helps in digestion. We are habituated so still now I prefer to eat on the floor.
You have a nice and interesting blog and I will be visiting it often. Keep posting
I LOVE the Patriot Act comment!
Some people hold their plate closer to chest in one hand and eat of their other hand. In the part of India where I come from, the plate/leaf is placed on the floor a little far from the person so the person eating will have lean forward a little to reach the food, which automatically contracts your stomach a little bit. The idea is that you'll stop eating once your stomach is full (it's difficult to lean forward) and won't keep stuffing yourself up. This doesn't deter some determined desis. They'll just loosen their pant belts(or their dhotis) and keep going. Thats why pot bellys are all too common among desis.
Sunny - your comments have nothing to do with the post and are being deleted.
I laughed recalling the other night with my bf, as I read the title of your post. The answer which came to mind was, "Because the Pakistani's Girlfriend has no kitchen table" :) But then I asked him after reading your post as I did recall him also saying, "We used to do this growing up..." I wanted to get to the root of it. His answer surprised me. It was actually #2 in your list of reasons. If I had not happened across your post, I wouldn't have known this because he didn't expand on it and I thought valentine's dinner on newspapers on the floor was kind of romantic. I am intrigued! Thirteen months into my serious loving relationship with my (Pakistani)bf, there is so much more for (white American)me to learn...
Imagine how big a table would be needed for a family if say, 6 kids, the parents and the grand parents all decided to have food together.
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