TheGoriWife Reviews: Slumdog Millionaire (Bonus: How To Bribe The Police)

I so badly wanted to see this movie that I convinced M to leave work early on Friday so we could have a date night. (That's what date night turns into when you have kids and no babysitter: a 3:30 matinee and no dinner because you have to pick up the kid at daycare before 6.) It got such overwhelmingly good reviews, and I really wanted to love it.

It was good, I guess. I enjoyed myself. But I was expecting something PHENOMENAL. I didn't really like the cinematography, the shaky cameras and the running through the streets. I think that's part of the 'critically acclaimed' part, though - so what the heck do I know?

It wasn't until after I left the theatre and was racking my brain trying to figure out what the hype was all about that I realized that two of the most major parts of the movie had been completely lost on me. (Spoiler alert: stop reading if you don't want to know!) The children running around in slums part and the police torture and corruption part of the movie hadn't even fazed me. 

These movies were made for a western audience that doesn't have a lot of exposure to this sort of thing, and those sights and idea must have been very striking. I figure most people who go see that movie have these sorts of thoughts: "Oh my! Children are really treated like that?" or "The police can do that to someone who hasn't been charged with a crime - let alone gone to court yet?!?"

Now thankfully, I've had no exposure to Pakistani police, but I've seen my share of children begging in the streets. Injured and crippled, or women with crying babies. It's terrible to think perhaps I've lost some of my compassion simply because of repeated exposure to these children's unfortunate circumstances. I mean, I didn't even realize that was part of the reason people think the movie is so striking until the end of it. I was too busy maligning the weak love story part! And the police thing, too. Thank god I don't know about that stuff first hand.

Except wait - I do! I did have a little bit of exposure to Pakistani police. We went to Saddar market one day (sadly, probably the nicest market we frequent when we're in Karachi. I've never even been to Millenium Mall, which I hear is the best.) We ended up having to park at the end of the main street - down by that school. It was near Eid-al-Adha, a religious holiday, and it seemed like every single person in all of Pakistan was out shopping. We'd parked there before, too, but this time the car wasn't there when we got back. After a few minutes of freaking out (and calling one of M's uncle for advice) we figured the car had been moved (I don't know how...) by the police, and they were holding it until we could come rectify our "traffic violation." (That's in quotes because there were no 'No Parking' signs, and as far as we could tell we'd broken no laws.) M followed his uncle's advice meticulously: cover up the white girl, humbly go to the station, offer your bribe - even haggle with them when they ask for more money! The uncle gave us the maximum we should pay - the going rate for police bribes in that situation, I guess - and it all worked out perfectly. I used one of the new scarves I'd just bought to burqa-ize myself, stayed silent, and we had our car back within minutes. Ha!

Anyway - that's my humble take on Slumdog Millionaire. I did love the ending, the part that runs during the credits. I won't say what it is - you'll have to go see for yourself.